Category Archives: dating

Nothin’ but a Number?

Have you ever dated someone significantly older or younger than you?

I used to rag on my guy friends for constantly robbing the cradle.

If your girl can’t go to the bar with us – she’s too young!

But what about when you’re past legal drinking age, does it still matter?

I dated a younger man once. He was 22, I was 27.

me and rich

Me and my “snack pack”

The most significant difference had to do with our music choices.

In his defense, he did like good music, I’m just a sucker for the classics.

He would jokingly call me his cougar.

Which I found more adorable than annoying – most of the time.

It’sΒ  expected for the man to be the elder in a May/December romance.

Gross, but socially acceptable.

Gross, but socially acceptable.

But when it’s the woman she’s looked at as some sort of desperate predator.

What does May/December even mean??

Technically that’s just six months!!

mariah and nick 2

A decade apart. Does that make him really mature or her seriously immature??

Five years isn’t that bad of an age difference – we still had a similar world view.

And we were also in the same place.

Neither of us was really looking to settle down.

But what about a ten year age difference? Or more??

No matter who’s older, ten plus years is a whole lot of difference.

He probably can't get it up but I bet you have to change his diaper.

He probably couldn’t get it up but I bet she had to change his diaper.

Having sexual relations with a wrinkly, old man sounds gross enough.

But if you hitch your star to an older wagon, you’ll probably have to change his diaper or help him use the bathroom at some point in the not so distant future.

That’s definitely where I draw the line!

adult diaper thong

The opposite of sexy!

Your life experiences are different as well.

Twenty-somethings haven’t really thought about having children, except how to prevent them.

But thirty-somethings have more than likely thought about it and come to a definitive answer.

And then there are those who are past their prime, can’t get it up without pills, but could still father a child who will graduate high school when they’re eighty.

Excuse me while I go vomit…Belch!

Who wants to chase after a toddler at 90?!?

Who wants to chase after a toddler at 90?!?

If you get along, want the same things, and genuinely care about one another – does age matter?

What do you guys think?

Would you date someone significantly older or younger than you??

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Filed under dating, deal breakers, growing up, looking for love, sex

Goldilocks Had It Easy

The absolute worst thing to say to someone who is single:

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend/girlfriend??

You’re so pretty/handsome/smart!

I don’t understand??”

The worst part about this question is there’s no acceptable “real” answer.

No one really wants to know.

Which makes this an even ruder invasion of privacy.

Like Goldilocks, I’m still trying to find the one that’s juuust right.

goldilocks

Lucky bitch only had to slog through three options!

Usually when asked I just say, “I haven’t found the right one yet.”

(A true yet vague statement)

However, since I’m a little bit of an asshole, what I really want to say is:

You know why I’m single??

My last foray into dating ended abruptly, when I was informed via email, that he needed to figure out how to be “happy” by himself before he could be happy with someone else.

(This was coincidentally, after I refused to sleep with him on our second date)

personal challenge

Or how about the last guy I was foolish enough to catch feelings for?!

At first I thought he actually cared about me but, it turned out he was just a man-whore looking to get laid while keeping every.option.open.

(That really made me feel like I was special)

you look like a bad decision

The one before that, I only went out with a few times (Thank God!) when I found out from a fellow bartender he’d been dating another girl for the last 4 months.

And then there was the guy before that, he told me he loved me and proceeded to cheat on me with his stripper ex-girlfriend.

That’s right – I said:

stripper

ex

girlfriend

That about sums it up.

I either have a douchebag magnet implanted somewhere on my person or colossally bad taste in men.

douchebag magnet

I’m going with six of one, half dozen of the other.

So if it’s okay with you, I’m taking a little break from dating for awhile.

It’s been a rough year.

Do you have any other intrusive, super personal questions you’d like to ask me?

I didn’t think so…

Other things to never say to your single friends.

On behalf of singles everywhere, we thank you for your cooperation πŸ™‚

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Filed under dating, deal breakers, etiquette, looking for love, sex

Judgey Wudgey Was a Bear

woman's mind

And at least 1,347 of those tabs are open to something we said or did, we’re currently obsessing over not having gotten quite right.

You can meet the smartest, most successful woman on earth, but I bet you $1000 there are at least 3 things she thinks she’s done wrong in the last week, that she can’t seem to let go of.

The judgement of others can be harsh, but there’s nothing compared to the judgement we pass on ourselves.

I for one, am tired of the constant loop of let-downs I review in the wee hours of the night.

finish each day emerson quote

Why is it five years later I can remember in detail an off-handed criticism from someone I don’t even like, but the last compliment I received is a little fuzzy??

I would never speak to someone I love in the harsh, judgmental voice I reserve for myself late at night.

If one of my friends came to me obsessing over some slight or slip-up, I would help them look at the big picture.

Illustrate that while they may have messed up this time it does not define them as a failure.

you have a glass

So why can’t I be that rational, supportive friend to myself??

Sometimes it feels as though there are two different women who live in my head.

One’s a smart, kind, cleverly talented, rational woman.

The other is Judgey Wudgey the Bear.

And I’m not talking about some cute little bear:

cute bear

Judgey Wudgey is a mean ol’ bitch:

angry bear

And she’s always cranky!

I’ve been trying to find new ways to silence the snarky bitch.

Since coming out of hibernation, she’s been overly articulate and quite nosy.

Digging up the past like she’s foraging for food.

I haven’t really had much success in getting her to STFU!

STFU

Even as I write this I can hear her mocking me, “boo hoo, poor little girl got her feelings hurt”.

So I’m going to start writing her bullshit down.

Much like I list the things I’m grateful for each day.

In order to maintain an objective frame of mind, I will now also include the day’s top five judgements.

Maybe if I have to acknowledge them on paper, I can forgive myself my transgressions and move on.

Or maybe I’ll see how truly ridiculous and mean-spirited Judgey Wudgey is and learn to ignore her.

let it go

Wish me luck!

How do you let go of your inner critic?

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Filed under Change, Climbing the Ladder, dating, family, following your dreams, friendship, growing up, Happiness Project, inspiration, quotes

Wicked Hard and Extremely Fragile

I’m not a trusting person.

Call me paranoid but I don’t take anyone’s word for it.

It’s especially hard, after someone you want to trust, has broken that bond.

How are you supposed to take that leap again?

take a leap of faith

There is no magic pill to take to guarantee a clean slate.

Old fears creep in and the most innocent of exchanges can feel like a plot against your happiness.

How can you truly trust if you haven’t figured out how to forgive?

forgiveness mark twain quoteAnd I’m not just talking about forgiving others.

I don’t know about you, but when my trust is broken, the person I blame the most is myself.

I should have known better!

not good enough

How could I have been so stupid??

Why couldn’t I tell he/she was lying?

Trust is such a vulnerable bond.

Even when you have the courage to open your heart and trust.

courage does not always roar

There are so many obstacles, so many worries that can gnaw on your mind.

The fears and anxieties pick with vicious tenacity at your fragile trust until it has been shredded. Completely destroyed, only the fears and anxieties remaining.

fear

Stop the fear!

The fears and anxieties cannot win if you fill your heart and mind with love.

As part of my Happiness Project I am making a conscious effort to be more trusting. To chose love over fear.

(For those of you who missed those posts – shame on you! Just kidding πŸ™‚ You can check them out here and here.)

This is especially hard for me.

I have an overwhelming need to always be prepared (thank you Girl Scouts) and what may be the world’s most over-active imagination.

When these super powers combine they make me:

The Queen of the Worst.Case.Scenario.

You might be thinking, ‘well that doesn’t sound too bad.’

The problem lies in the thoughts.

all that we are budda quote

If our reality is a manifestation of our thoughts, then being worried, anxious, and distrusting will just bring you more of the same.

And who wants that??

What about you guys?

Do you trust easily?

Or is trusting someone the hardest.thing.ever for you??

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Filed under dating, family, following your dreams, friendship, growing up, Happiness Project, inspiration, looking for love

Everything, All at Once, Right Now!

I’m great at identify goals and the necessary steps to make said goals come true.

What I am NOT great at is maintaining the patience to achieve my goals.

god grant me patience

I drive much like I live my life.

As fast as possible without getting caught by the fuzz πŸ™‚

Reminding myself to slow down is a constant battle.

I remember when I was in high school, my Grandfather telling me, “don’t forget to stop and smell the roses.”

stop and smell the roses 3

Come on! If monkeys can do it, so can you!!

I rarely remember to take a beat when I hit a milestone or an accomplishment.

Instead of giving myself a pat on the back and an “atta girl!”, I immediately begin to focus on the next hurdle, the next chance to hit it out of the park.

As part of my Happiness Project, I am going to start giving myself permission to celebrate the small victories.

Who cares if that small victory is only measurable by me.

It’s my victory, dammit!

victory is mine

I think we’ve become a society with such an expectation and focus on success that we’ve forgotten how to recognize the hard work it takes to actually achieve success and we’ve definitely forgotten how to make time to bask in that success.

This week IΒ  challenge you to stop and smell the roses.

Yes, I know it’s February in New England.

So they will have to be metaphorical roses.

your metaphorical rose :)

your metaphorical rose πŸ™‚

But whenever you cross a finish line (no matter how small you feel it is), give yourself a little time-out to acknowledge your achievement.

I promise, it will alleviate that hamster-on-a-wheel feeling.

If only for a couple minutes…

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Filed under Change, Climbing the Ladder, dating, following your dreams, growing up, Happiness Project, inspiration

I have a dream…

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

~ Eleanor Roosevelt

What does your happily ever after look like?

The older I get the less attractive the traditional white picket fence scenario looks.

white-picket-fence-home

It’s a beautiful house, but I don’t want to be the one responsible for its upkeep and occupants.

Maybe it’s because I know the sacrifices that come with raising a family.

Or maybe I just have a deep, abiding love for alone time.

alone time

But the thought of getting married, making a home, and popping out 2.5 kids doesn’t make my heart race. (sorry Mom)

Falling in love and making a commitment to someone makes my heart race – but that could just be palpitations from a panic attack.

The thought of seeing the world; immersing myself in new and different cultures, traipsing through third world countries and having adventures with my partner in crime – now that definitely gets me going.

not all those who wander are lost

I’ve realized, I’m okay, not having the corner office, driving the shiny new car, buying stuff and things.

I’d rather fill my life with experiences than possessions.

adventure is the best way to learn

And I’m actually pretty good at being poor – guess it helps to be frugal – thanks Mom πŸ™‚

I think it’s time we all start giving ourselves permission, to openly and honestly, want what we truly want.

do your own thing

Say it out loud and start making it happen!

I want to quit my job(s), find work as a freelance writer, and travel.

quit your job

Anyone out there have any helpful hints on making that dream come true??

What would you do if money was not a factor?

Do you even know??

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Filed under Change, Climbing the Ladder, dating, following your dreams, growing up, money, travel, videos

It’s Finally Friday!!!

Quote of the Day:

Alice in Wonderland quote

How Does Your Garden Grow:

If you use as much garlic as I do this will save you tons of money!

Fitness First:

10 minutes to better abs.

Techie Love:

Every wish you could do something with all those amazing pics you have on Instagram?? Now you can! Turn them into magnets!!

Wine Me, Dine Me:

Looking for a healthy breakfast you can eat on the go?? Try this super easy and wicked healthy cookies.

Health and Wellness:

We all know mediation is good for you. But it can be really hard to get started. Check out these 5 different practices and find one that works for you!

One hour a week could change your life.

Be True, Be You:

25 things you don’t have to justify to anyone.

Giggles and Such:

Take a seat. Make a friend.

It’s all about sex baby.

gimme some sugar baby

booksfanta seaHave a great weekend!

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Filed under dating, DIY, etiquette, family, Finally Friday, following your dreams, food, friendship, gardening, giggles and such, growing up, health, inspiration, looking for love, nesting, play, quotes, sex, technology, videos