Tag Archives: do what you want

Lay Off! I’m Starving!!

I generally try to eat healthy and exercise regularly.

Not just for appearances sake, but so I can live a long and healthy life.

Though sometimes it’s all about appearances.

This usually starts around April/May, depending how long Old Man Winter hangs around New England.

 It’s the time of year most of us drag our pale, lumpy asses to the gym.

You also start choosing salads over burgers and carbs become a dirty word.

This is also the time of year most women become just a teensy bit sensitive.

LAY OFF!!

We’re starving!

That’s right folks!

It’s swimsuit season.

As most of you ladies know – it SUCKS!!

GIANT, HAIRY MONKEY BALLS!!

Kind of like these but bigger and hairier

Kind of like these but bigger and hairier!

Trying on bathing suits should come with complimentary Xanax.

No matter what size, shape, or color you come in, it’s a traumatic experience.

You peruse the racks, find some cute suits, take them back to the dressing room, put on the bottoms, (ignoring how unsanitary this is even with your underwear on), look in the mirror, and burst into tears.

cathy trying on bathing suit

ACK!!

You then try to take off the offending garment while shielding your pale, lumpy ass from what is clearly one of those fun house distortion mirrors, lose your balance, fall over, and cause such a ruckus that the sales clerk comes back to check on you.

The only way this scenario gets more embarrassing, is if you happen to be in a dressing room with that flimsy curtain some sadist decided was a door.

Kind of like this but more awkward and half-naked.

Kind of like this but more awkward and half-naked.

If you should try to by-pass this horrific experience by shopping online, you’re just setting yourself up for deep, soul-crushing disappointment.

When the suit that was supposed to “smooth problem areas!” and offer “full coverage bottoms” arrives, it will do absolutely NONE of those things, and you will most certainly NOT look like the “real woman” model from the website.

Seriously?!? Can celebrities and models start looking like "real" people again?!?

Seriously?!? Can celebrities and models start looking like “real” people again?!?

In fact, the sight of your pale, lumpy ass hanging out of those “full coverage bottoms” will be enough to send you diving under the covers to hide your hideous body from the world until the temperature drops low enough to wear a full-body sweatsuit.

It’s really an exhausting experience.

Ain’t nobody got time for that!

So this year, I’m thinking we just skip all that nonsense.

As long as all your bits are covered, I say put on your suit, go to the beach, and flaunt what your momma gave you!

What do you think ladies??

human shaped

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Filed under beauty, fitness, food, growing up, inspiration

I have a dream…

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

~ Eleanor Roosevelt

What does your happily ever after look like?

The older I get the less attractive the traditional white picket fence scenario looks.

white-picket-fence-home

It’s a beautiful house, but I don’t want to be the one responsible for its upkeep and occupants.

Maybe it’s because I know the sacrifices that come with raising a family.

Or maybe I just have a deep, abiding love for alone time.

alone time

But the thought of getting married, making a home, and popping out 2.5 kids doesn’t make my heart race. (sorry Mom)

Falling in love and making a commitment to someone makes my heart race – but that could just be palpitations from a panic attack.

The thought of seeing the world; immersing myself in new and different cultures, traipsing through third world countries and having adventures with my partner in crime – now that definitely gets me going.

not all those who wander are lost

I’ve realized, I’m okay, not having the corner office, driving the shiny new car, buying stuff and things.

I’d rather fill my life with experiences than possessions.

adventure is the best way to learn

And I’m actually pretty good at being poor – guess it helps to be frugal – thanks Mom 🙂

I think it’s time we all start giving ourselves permission, to openly and honestly, want what we truly want.

do your own thing

Say it out loud and start making it happen!

I want to quit my job(s), find work as a freelance writer, and travel.

quit your job

Anyone out there have any helpful hints on making that dream come true??

What would you do if money was not a factor?

Do you even know??

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Filed under Change, Climbing the Ladder, dating, following your dreams, growing up, money, travel, videos