Tag Archives: fear

Wicked Hard and Extremely Fragile

I’m not a trusting person.

Call me paranoid but I don’t take anyone’s word for it.

It’s especially hard, after someone you want to trust, has broken that bond.

How are you supposed to take that leap again?

take a leap of faith

There is no magic pill to take to guarantee a clean slate.

Old fears creep in and the most innocent of exchanges can feel like a plot against your happiness.

How can you truly trust if you haven’t figured out how to forgive?

forgiveness mark twain quoteAnd I’m not just talking about forgiving others.

I don’t know about you, but when my trust is broken, the person I blame the most is myself.

I should have known better!

not good enough

How could I have been so stupid??

Why couldn’t I tell he/she was lying?

Trust is such a vulnerable bond.

Even when you have the courage to open your heart and trust.

courage does not always roar

There are so many obstacles, so many worries that can gnaw on your mind.

The fears and anxieties pick with vicious tenacity at your fragile trust until it has been shredded. Completely destroyed, only the fears and anxieties remaining.


Stop the fear!

The fears and anxieties cannot win if you fill your heart and mind with love.

As part of my Happiness Project I am making a conscious effort to be more trusting. To chose love over fear.

(For those of you who missed those posts – shame on you! Just kidding 🙂 You can check them out here and here.)

This is especially hard for me.

I have an overwhelming need to always be prepared (thank you Girl Scouts) and what may be the world’s most over-active imagination.

When these super powers combine they make me:

The Queen of the Worst.Case.Scenario.

You might be thinking, ‘well that doesn’t sound too bad.’

The problem lies in the thoughts.

all that we are budda quote

If our reality is a manifestation of our thoughts, then being worried, anxious, and distrusting will just bring you more of the same.

And who wants that??

What about you guys?

Do you trust easily?

Or is trusting someone the hardest.thing.ever for you??

1 Comment

Filed under dating, family, following your dreams, friendship, growing up, Happiness Project, inspiration, looking for love

Scared Shitless

Change is hard.

Small  change is sustainable.

I recently posted 21 tools to unlock your creative genius which if you missed it (how dare you?!) included this video on trying something new for 30 days.

So for the next 30 days I’m going to……


Yes, I know, I said small change is sustainable.

But, I’ve been gradually and steadily cutting back. So I’m fairly confident I can do this. (It also helps I have one hell of a summer head cold going on right now and zero desire to smoke a cigarette.)

However, I am scared shitless.

Seriously I’d rather fight zombies than tackle becoming a non-smoker

Quitting smoking is super hard.

I’ve tried (unsuccessfully) about a dozen times.

Identifying when/why your habits are triggered is the first step to success.

Check out How to Break Habits by Charles Duhigg

After a couple hours of dealing with drunk assholes at the bar, I just want to go outside and be alone with my thoughts for 5 minutes.

So instead of lighting up while I’m out there, I will be trying some deep breathing and meditation.

Maybe if I focus on this image I can forget I’m behind a bar standing next to a dumpster??

My other huge weakness is when I have a cocktail or two.

There’s just something about booze and butts – they go together like PB and J!

I’m not quite sure how I’m going to handle that situation.

In the past when I’ve attempted quitting I just end up bumming a cigarette after a drink or two.

But that just leads to me going out and buying a pack since bumming makes me feel like a bum 😦

Anyone out there have any helpful hints on not smoking when you drink?? Please share!

Also, for any of you trying to quit yourselves, my super awesome friend Lindsey recommended this book.

I was definitely skeptical at first. How the F is some dumb book going to help me quit smoking?! But so far it’s not bad! Sir Anthony Hopkins, Lou Reed AND Ellen all endorse the method!

Wish me luck! I’ll keep you kids posted on how I’m doing.

P.S. For those of you lucky enough to see me in person on a regular basis – don’t forget to cut me a little slack when I act like a super bitch for the next couple weeks! I’m doing my best 🙂

Leave a comment

Filed under Change, growing up, health, inspiration, Life Style, videos