Tag Archives: let go

Judgey Wudgey Was a Bear

woman's mind

And at least 1,347 of those tabs are open to something we said or did, we’re currently obsessing over not having gotten quite right.

You can meet the smartest, most successful woman on earth, but I bet you $1000 there are at least 3 things she thinks she’s done wrong in the last week, that she can’t seem to let go of.

The judgement of others can be harsh, but there’s nothing compared to the judgement we pass on ourselves.

I for one, am tired of the constant loop of let-downs I review in the wee hours of the night.

finish each day emerson quote

Why is it five years later I can remember in detail an off-handed criticism from someone I don’t even like, but the last compliment I received is a little fuzzy??

I would never speak to someone I love in the harsh, judgmental voice I reserve for myself late at night.

If one of my friends came to me obsessing over some slight or slip-up, I would help them look at the big picture.

Illustrate that while they may have messed up this time it does not define them as a failure.

you have a glass

So why can’t I be that rational, supportive friend to myself??

Sometimes it feels as though there are two different women who live in my head.

One’s a smart, kind, cleverly talented, rational woman.

The other is Judgey Wudgey the Bear.

And I’m not talking about some cute little bear:

cute bear

Judgey Wudgey is a mean ol’ bitch:

angry bear

And she’s always cranky!

I’ve been trying to find new ways to silence the snarky bitch.

Since coming out of hibernation, she’s been overly articulate and quite nosy.

Digging up the past like she’s foraging for food.

I haven’t really had much success in getting her to STFU!

STFU

Even as I write this I can hear her mocking me, “boo hoo, poor little girl got her feelings hurt”.

So I’m going to start writing her bullshit down.

Much like I list the things I’m grateful for each day.

In order to maintain an objective frame of mind, I will now also include the day’s top five judgements.

Maybe if I have to acknowledge them on paper, I can forgive myself my transgressions and move on.

Or maybe I’ll see how truly ridiculous and mean-spirited Judgey Wudgey is and learn to ignore her.

let it go

Wish me luck!

How do you let go of your inner critic?

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Filed under Change, Climbing the Ladder, dating, family, following your dreams, friendship, growing up, Happiness Project, inspiration, quotes

Thirty Life Lessons

There’s this great list from Glamour I kept on my fridge for years.

When I cut it out I don’t think I really understood it, but I figured they were things I could work towards (I was sixteen at the time).

There’s now an equally amazing book that came from said list, full of wonderful life lessons from awe inspiring women (my personal fave is from Maya Angelou).

I’m not 30. I’m 29.95 plus tax

As I approach my big 3-0 I’ve been thinking about all the life lessons I’ve personally learned along the way.

I’ve forgotten some of them from time to time.

A couple that I’m definitely old enough to know better!

So I figured I’d write down the top 30 lessons I’ve learned thus far and see if I could save someone else a little trouble 🙂

1.) Family is the most important thing. And it’s not just the family you’re born with.

2.) Stop making up stories explaining the events in your life and just except them. The more time your spend analyzing you life the less time you spend living it.

3.) If it seems too good to be true – it is.

4.) Always trust your gut. That niggling feeling that something isn’t quite right, is always right.

5.) Music is the miracle of life. It has the power to validate your feelings, make a bad day better, celebrate good times, nurse a broken heart, and help you keep on keepin’ on.

6.) Be honest. It’s hard. I know. If you don’t have the balls to be honest with others, at least be honest with yourself.

7.) No one is going to take care of you. Save your pennies and always have some “fuck you” money stashed away.

8.) Everyone has their own narrative and they are rarely EVER the same.

9.) Always be yourself. The most authentic version of yourself you can manage. Never EVER water down your personality for anyone. It’s the best part about you girl 😉

10.) My parents are truly amazing people.

Seriously! They rock!

11.) Talk is cheap. No matter what people SAY it’s what they DO that actually matters. So pay attention.

12.) You can fool yourself better than you can fool anyone else.

13.) Perception really is reality. There’s nothing you can do to change that, so stop wasting your time worrying about what other people think.

14.) Opportunity is usually disguised as hard work.

15.) Dogs are better than most people.

He might eat your shoes, but he’ll never do you wrong.

16.) This too shall pass is a true story. Good or bad, life changes on a dime. Always appreciate what you have.

17.) Stop trying to fast forward your life. Slow the fuck down and just take it all in. It really is all about the journey. Don’t get me wrong, goals are good, but it’s how you get there that really matters.

18.) Be BOLD. Ain’t nobody got time for that pansy ass shit. Figure out what you want and go for it.

19.) Credit cards are a slippery slope. Pay off your balance at the end of each month. You’ll save thousands in interest rates and countless headaches.

20.) Have an excellent tailor and hairdresser. They’ll make you look like a million bucks even when you can’t afford a cup of coffee. (For those of you in the area: Amber LaBorde at Visual Changes in Longmeadow, MA is beyond amazing and A Perfect Fit in Agawam, MA is the only tailor I’ve ever met who continually tries to save me money and does wonderful work with an unheard of turnaround.)

21.) Mind your manners. Especially if you’re sometimes socially challenged. Remembering what your Mama taught you will get you successfully through most interactions and keep you out of hot water.

22.) Read more. Books have lessons we’re all familiar with but hearing someone else’s troubles helps us actually learn them.

23.) A bra that fits right will change your life. Seriously go get fitted for one. I know, it’s awkward and weird but it’s worth it.

24.) Jealousy really is a monster. Keep an eye out for that bitch. She’ll sneak up on you if you’re not careful.

25.) Climbing a mountain will clear your head of all your worries. Even a small mountain 🙂

26.) Learn how to LET GO. (I have to admit I’m still working on this one. It’s super hard sometimes.)

27.) Expectations can be a dangerous thing to have. Manage yours well.

28.) Sex does NOT equal intimacy.

29.) Learn how to confront people effectively. Keeping emotions bottled up inside isn’t healthy, but neither is flying off the handle when you can’t take it anymore. Address your issues upfront and you’ll feel much better in the long run.

30.) A new pair of shoes can change your life.

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Filed under Change, dating, deal breakers, etiquette, family, following your dreams, growing up, inspiration, looking for love, sex