Tag Archives: slow down

My Armpits Hurt and Other Three-Legged Lessons

About a week ago, in the most mundane of circumstances, I dislocated my patella (that’s your knee cap for anyone who didn’t go to medical school) and tore my MCL (that’s the ligament that keeps your shin attached to your knee).

Since then I’ve learned quite a few things.

A few I already knew and had forgotten, others I wasn’t aware of yet.

Some things you learn when life (literally) knocks you down:

1.) Asking for help blows.

Maybe it’s because I don’t trust most people to come through for me or to do things the way I would (because of course my way is better).

Maybe it’s because I never want to burden anyone.

Whatever the reason, asking for help is right up there with being locked in a room full of cats, so I do everything in my power to avoid it.

asking for help

2.) I can NOT do everything myself.

However, there are an amazing number of things you can learn to do one-handed.

All the mommies out there know what I’m talking about!

one handed mom

How about practically everything?!?

Necessity is the mother of invention.

If you have to use at least one crutch to get around, you figure out real quick how to do everything else with your free hand.

3.) Who your friends are.

Not the friends you say “hi” to at shows or party all night with.

The friends who actually return phone calls, check in on you, and will cart your crippled ass around.

Don’t be surprised when the latter turns out to be a much smaller group than the former.true friends

4.) There is actually a technique to using crutches!

Up with the good, down with the bad is the best way to traverse stairs.

You should always use a solo crutch on your uninjured side.

If you lower your crutch height it will force you to use them correctly.

I only wish someone had told me before I rubbed my armpits raw!

This will of course, shift your weight to your hands, specifically the soft fleshy part of your thumbs.

I don’t know how to make that stop throbbing but I do know the next person who tells me I’ll build up a callus gets hit in the shin with a crutch.hit with a crutch5.) Listen to your body!

I can’t help but think of the nights when all I wanted was to stay home and curl up on the couch, but instead told myself I had to honor my commitments.

Maybe if I hadn’t pushed myself to go out just because it was a Friday Night and I could, my knee wouldn’t have revolted.

Maybe if I had taken better care of myself I wouldn’t now be on forced sabbatical…

listen to your body 2

6.) If is physically impossible to vomit in a toilet with one leg in a brace.

Make sure you have a bucket handy.

The cocktail of drugs prescribed WILL make you nauseous.

7.) Listen to the doctor when they say:

“Eat lots of fruits and vegetables.

Make sure to drink plenty of water.”

You might think it isn’t possible to feel any worse.

Go a week without pooping and get back to me.

constipation8.) Pockets are your friend but a fanny pack is your BEST friend!

You’ll reach a point when you don’t give a shit.

You just want to be able to carry your own stuff.

Get a fanny pack and thank me later.

fanny pack

Also the only acceptable time to wear leggings as pants

9.) You WILL feel sorry for yourself.

Just go ahead and cry.

ugly cry face

I’m not guaranteeing it will make you feel any better but the headache you’ll get from holding back the tears will most certainly make you feel worse.

10.) PATIENCE

It is a virtue I was definitely born without and is the most challenging part of all.

It takes twice as long to do anything on crutches.

You will be at the mercy of others.

So, take a deep breathe and count your lucky stars this is only temporary.

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Filed under Family + Friends, Following Your Dreams, Health + Wellness

Thirty Life Lessons

There’s this great list from Glamour I kept on my fridge for years.

When I cut it out I don’t think I really understood it, but I figured they were things I could work towards (I was sixteen at the time).

There’s now an equally amazing book that came from said list, full of wonderful life lessons from awe inspiring women (my personal fave is from Maya Angelou).

I’m not 30. I’m 29.95 plus tax

As I approach my big 3-0 I’ve been thinking about all the life lessons I’ve personally learned along the way.

I’ve forgotten some of them from time to time.

A couple that I’m definitely old enough to know better!

So I figured I’d write down the top 30 lessons I’ve learned thus far and see if I could save someone else a little trouble 🙂

1.) Family is the most important thing. And it’s not just the family you’re born with.

2.) Stop making up stories explaining the events in your life and just except them. The more time your spend analyzing you life the less time you spend living it.

3.) If it seems too good to be true – it is.

4.) Always trust your gut. That niggling feeling that something isn’t quite right, is always right.

5.) Music is the miracle of life. It has the power to validate your feelings, make a bad day better, celebrate good times, nurse a broken heart, and help you keep on keepin’ on.

6.) Be honest. It’s hard. I know. If you don’t have the balls to be honest with others, at least be honest with yourself.

7.) No one is going to take care of you. Save your pennies and always have some “fuck you” money stashed away.

8.) Everyone has their own narrative and they are rarely EVER the same.

9.) Always be yourself. The most authentic version of yourself you can manage. Never EVER water down your personality for anyone. It’s the best part about you girl 😉

10.) My parents are truly amazing people.

Seriously! They rock!

11.) Talk is cheap. No matter what people SAY it’s what they DO that actually matters. So pay attention.

12.) You can fool yourself better than you can fool anyone else.

13.) Perception really is reality. There’s nothing you can do to change that, so stop wasting your time worrying about what other people think.

14.) Opportunity is usually disguised as hard work.

15.) Dogs are better than most people.

He might eat your shoes, but he’ll never do you wrong.

16.) This too shall pass is a true story. Good or bad, life changes on a dime. Always appreciate what you have.

17.) Stop trying to fast forward your life. Slow the fuck down and just take it all in. It really is all about the journey. Don’t get me wrong, goals are good, but it’s how you get there that really matters.

18.) Be BOLD. Ain’t nobody got time for that pansy ass shit. Figure out what you want and go for it.

19.) Credit cards are a slippery slope. Pay off your balance at the end of each month. You’ll save thousands in interest rates and countless headaches.

20.) Have an excellent tailor and hairdresser. They’ll make you look like a million bucks even when you can’t afford a cup of coffee. (For those of you in the area: Amber LaBorde at Visual Changes in Longmeadow, MA is beyond amazing and A Perfect Fit in Agawam, MA is the only tailor I’ve ever met who continually tries to save me money and does wonderful work with an unheard of turnaround.)

21.) Mind your manners. Especially if you’re sometimes socially challenged. Remembering what your Mama taught you will get you successfully through most interactions and keep you out of hot water.

22.) Read more. Books have lessons we’re all familiar with but hearing someone else’s troubles helps us actually learn them.

23.) A bra that fits right will change your life. Seriously go get fitted for one. I know, it’s awkward and weird but it’s worth it.

24.) Jealousy really is a monster. Keep an eye out for that bitch. She’ll sneak up on you if you’re not careful.

25.) Climbing a mountain will clear your head of all your worries. Even a small mountain 🙂

26.) Learn how to LET GO. (I have to admit I’m still working on this one. It’s super hard sometimes.)

27.) Expectations can be a dangerous thing to have. Manage yours well.

28.) Sex does NOT equal intimacy.

29.) Learn how to confront people effectively. Keeping emotions bottled up inside isn’t healthy, but neither is flying off the handle when you can’t take it anymore. Address your issues upfront and you’ll feel much better in the long run.

30.) A new pair of shoes can change your life.

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Filed under Change, dating, deal breakers, etiquette, family, following your dreams, growing up, inspiration, looking for love, sex