And at least 1,347 of those tabs are open to something we said or did, we’re currently obsessing over not having gotten quite right.
You can meet the smartest, most successful woman on earth, but I bet you $1000 there are at least 3 things she thinks she’s done wrong in the last week, that she can’t seem to let go of.
The judgement of others can be harsh, but there’s nothing compared to the judgement we pass on ourselves.
I for one, am tired of the constant loop of let-downs I review in the wee hours of the night.
Why is it five years later I can remember in detail an off-handed criticism from someone I don’t even like, but the last compliment I received is a little fuzzy??
I would never speak to someone I love in the harsh, judgmental voice I reserve for myself late at night.
If one of my friends came to me obsessing over some slight or slip-up, I would help them look at the big picture.
Illustrate that while they may have messed up this time it does not define them as a failure.
So why can’t I be that rational, supportive friend to myself??
Sometimes it feels as though there are two different women who live in my head.
One’s a smart, kind, cleverly talented, rational woman.
The other is Judgey Wudgey the Bear.
And I’m not talking about some cute little bear:
Judgey Wudgey is a mean ol’ bitch:
And she’s always cranky!
I’ve been trying to find new ways to silence the snarky bitch.
Since coming out of hibernation, she’s been overly articulate and quite nosy.
Digging up the past like she’s foraging for food.
I haven’t really had much success in getting her to STFU!
Even as I write this I can hear her mocking me, “boo hoo, poor little girl got her feelings hurt”.
So I’m going to start writing her bullshit down.
Much like I list the things I’m grateful for each day.
In order to maintain an objective frame of mind, I will now also include the day’s top five judgements.
Maybe if I have to acknowledge them on paper, I can forgive myself my transgressions and move on.
Or maybe I’ll see how truly ridiculous and mean-spirited Judgey Wudgey is and learn to ignore her.
Wish me luck!
How do you let go of your inner critic?
Adventures In Adulthood 